Monday, October 09, 2006

Jalapeño!!!


Since the release of "Supersize Me" there has been a lot of talk about personal responsibility surrounding the foods we consume.

Personally I think that the fattening of the American and Western populace is directly attributable to the megalopoly of the American fast food industry. They say that they only provide fatty food because that is what is demanded by their customers.

Well, I think it is because of the crap they put in their food. Tasteless crap that the high dosages of fat help give flavor to.

Now, if it was me, I would be taking the fat OUT and adding jalapeños. LOTS of jalapeños.

That would help to clean out the consumer’s digestive system.

It would be a deterrent to over consumption because when their mouth is on fire, they will be less likely to reach for a second sandwich. Also they will consume less carbonated beverages because water helps to cool much better than Coke, etc.

Just think of the benefits this jalapeño enhanced diet would provide. Single-handedly the humble jalapeño could decrease hospital waiting lists, extend peoples lives, reduce the average fat-ass to waif-like proportions and give food a more flavorful edge all at the same time!

6 comments:

Jenafear said...

That'd be quite the shock to take a bite from a chicken nugget or one of those things they call cheeseburgers and have a burning mouth; if there's a surprise element, that might be even more of a deterrent to eating fast food.

Intolerant said...

The advertising is geared directly at blacks, in case you haven't noticed. There is an agenda that cannot be altered. Their money is what is important, not their health. It's a matter of getting all of the public assistance money into the pockets of big corporations. This in turn recirculates the money into the economy quickly and efficiently, how ever unbalanced the distribution may be. We as a society NEED these disgusting fast food chains as a means of stimulating the economy with its own tax dollars. I for one hate the fact that my tax money goes to fund pregnant filthy lazy black women on welfare who only have babies to continue the public assistance relief. With the marketing of these nasty deadly greasy fast food chains directed at the drains on our economy, I feel a little vindicated. Same goes for other unhealthy dangerous products aimed at the black and hispanic population. These people can throw their (our) money away fast enough. We need these corporations to give them the opportunity.

On the other hand...Jens surprise attack is really a funny idea. More of a sporting idea, but a good one indeed! Perhaps instead of just jalapeños we add staples and broken glass too. Now that would be funny!

Hammer said...

After a night of drinking heavy drinking I made some nachos and coved them with a huge pile of jalepenos. The fire down below began early the next morning and didn't subside for several hours.

That was one of the few times it felt like I was shitting broken glass mixed with sulphuric acid.

Lesson learned.

If this happened to a 375 pound fast food denizen everytime they consumed a bag o whoppers, there would be massive weight loss and lots of plumbing bills.

Lexcen said...

jalapeño icecream,jalapeño chocolate,jalapeño cake,jalapeño cream,jalapeño pizza,jalapeño Big Mac, jalapeño/cherry coke, jalapeño coffee, jalapeño milkshake...I'm inspired, I've worked myself up into a frenzy of enthusiasm to set up a franchise, another opening for Lexcen Corp.

SofaKingMelo said...

Love the idea, but it wouldn't work on me. I for one LOVE jalapeños.

In all honesty though, these corporations are cleary poisoning the general population. But I'll be damned if I don't have a hankering for some fast food after a night of drinking heavily.

JP said...

Ahh yes heavy drinking and fast food...I remember back in my old Air Force days eating some Long John Silvers for dinner following an all you can eat lunch at the Pizza Hut. That evening, the bottle of cheap Rum earmarked for my weekend trip home began it's early demise at the barracks. Last thing I remembered was pouring a beer glass 3/4 full of the last of the Rum, tinting it a light tan with a few drops of Coke and staggering back to my room, bouncing from wall to wall spewing battered seafood and wagon wheel macaroni stew all over myself and the floor. The good thing about alcohol and fast food is the fast food is quickly regurgitated before it can do its damage. I awoke in my bed covered and undressed with my clothes from the previous night neatly washed and folded on the chair beside me. With the memory of it all still fresh, I jumped from my bed to survey the damage. Nothing. There was no evidence of any of my vivid recollection. Except for the pointing and laughing. I checked my ass for any damage and everything looked intact. I never found out exactly what took place after I blacked out.