Thursday, October 05, 2006

Chronic Master Baiter

At what point should I begin to concern myself with my health and personal safety?

The blisters haven’t necessarily been getting worse because I think I'm starting to work up some calluses. I've learned to sort of ‘ride the pain’ but the condition of my hands is rather unsightly and horribly embarrassing. Try to explain this (see picture above) to everyone that asks!

So how much masturbation is too much? Once… twice… thrice an hour?

I'm afraid that if I take longer than three hours between sessions my humongous nuts will overfill and rupture.

Besides, it's like my only hobby – other than reading the bible and honing my ninja skills.


Dr. Sausage T. McPussywaffle said...

Who's your favorite Little Rascal... Alfalfa or Spanky?

Jenafear said...

Those are my only hobbies too, weird. Using more lube might help. That and try to ask around for BJs to give the hands a rest.

ButterSnatch said...

i was just told by CTC (CrashTestComic) that my blog stinks. and i quote: "this is my personal e-mail & not for your use.
you got something to say, say it on the blog for the world to see. by the way, your blog is completely unoriginal and lacking in any kind of talent and foresight. have a nice day.."

all i did was email him and tell him to stop spamming people comments section because it was really fucking annoying, and to get bent (i was joking of course), and i got that from him in retaliation.

i guess everyone's entitled to their own opinion. he obviously thinks i suck, and i'm comfortable with that. i'm about as comfortable with that as his wife was with my balls in her mouth the other night! *ZING*

Intolerant said...

You need to get some Nitrile examination gloves and some water based lubricant. This way you can not only stroke your man chicken, you can deep finger your own ass. Maybe if you can push the peanut butter deep enough the dogs can rinse out your colon too.

Lexcen said...

Spanking the monkey huh. This was designed by GOD so that man wouldn't get blue balls. In your case, I think excessive self-foreplay must be accompanied by a follow through action involving a partner, preferably female, preferably your wife but I won't insist. Is she feeling left out from all your pleasure inducing activities? It's time to share a little.

petey said...

I'm worried about what your dick looks like...

Dubs said...

My thoughts exactly, Petey!

ButterSnatch said...

^you worry about what your own dick looks like, mister Petey! YOU'RE the one that puts yours in teh ghey menz heinies! i put mine in more normal places like cantaloupes, ourangatangs, desk drawers, on top of pizza's, inside buddhist temples, etc, etc. all the normal place penii are SUPPOSED to go.

ButterSnatch said...

***note: just to clarify, that IS NOT a picture of my hands. they're actually pictures of INTOLERANTS hands. he was too embarrassed to post this, so i took the liberty of posting it for him. poor guy. send him some Vagisil for his blisters, won't you?

Intolerant said...

I beg to differ...I practice what I preach.

Crashtest Comic said...

What a trooper.
At the first site of blisters the guy kept right on hammerin'!

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