I think it's safe to say, I'm going STRAIGHT to hell for this.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
by Edgar Allen Poe's Cat
On a night quite unenchanting,
when the rain was downward slanting,
I awakened to the ranting
of the man I catch mice for.
Tipsy and a bit unshaven,
in a tone I found quite craven,
Poe was talking to a Raven perched
above the chamber door.
"Raven's very tasty," thought I,
as I tiptoed o'er the floor,
"There is nothing I like more".
Soft upon the rug I treaded,
calm and careful as I headed
Towards his roost atop that dreaded
bust of Pallas I deplore.
While the bard and birdie chattered,
I made sure that nothing clattered,
Creaked, or snapped, or fell, or shattered,
as I crossed the corridor;
For his house is crammed with trinkets,
curios and weird decor -
Bric-a-brac and junk galore.
Still the Raven never fluttered,
standing stock-still as he uttered,
In a voice that shrieked and sputtered,
his two cents' worth - "Nevermore."
While this dirge the birdbrain kept up,
oh, so silently I crept up,
Then I crouched and quickly leapt up,
pouncing on the feathered bore.
Soon he was a heap of plumage,
and a little blood and gore-
Only this and not much more.
"Oooo!" my pickled poet cried out,
"Pussycat, it's time I dried out!
Never sat I in my hideout
talking to a bird before.
How I've wallowed in self-pity,
while my gallant, valiant kitty
Put and end to that damned ditty" -
then I heard him start to snore.
Back atop the door I clambered,
eyed that statue I abhor,
Jumped - and smashed it on the floor.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
(1st Google image-search result for "Bored with Porn")
I am now completely bored with porn. I've watched too much, looked at too much, listened to too much. There's just too much porn.
There's soft-core, hardcore, X and XXX. There's blondes, brunettes, redheads, blonde-on-blonde, blonde-on-brunettes, and blonde-on-redheads. I've seen fucking, fisting, fingering, felching, and too much foreplay.
I will miss big tits, big asses, long legs, and dick sucking lips. I never really understood foot fetish, leather fetish, toilet fetish, or German scheisse videos. I did like teens, MILFs, barely legal, and over 40. There were voluptuous vixens, mature amateurs, bodacious bods, sexy swingers, and horny housewives. I liked drunk bitches, college bitches, dominatrix bitches, and just plain bitches.
Who didn't like nurses, maids, military, schoolgirls, and cheerleaders? I saw fit girls, fat girls, fashion models, and models of the day. I read Playboy, Penthouse, Hustler, High Society, Cherri, Oui, Score, and Gallery.
And there's solo, one-on-one, 3-somes, and orgies. There's black, white, Asian and lovely Latinas.
There was nude celebs, nude models, nudists, and non-nude. I gazed at Danni Ashe, Alisha Class, Jenna Jameson and Jenna Haze. What about Veronica Vanoza, Veronica Zemonova, Silvia Saint, and Sonja Silva? And don't forget
I will miss them all. But right now, I'd rather watch Terminator 2: Judgment Day or Formula-1 racing on the Speed Channel ©.
Wednesday, June 09, 2010
How do men recognize their wives wearing burkhas in public?
It's got to be something simple, like by smell or something.
Or maybe it's a little more complex, and It becomes second nature. Sorta like how a mother penguin recognizes her offspring in a sea of thousands of penguin chicks.